Travelogue #1 - Shillong

Rock Capital of India, The Abode of Clouds (which by the way is what the word means), The better half of Assam….I must admit, I was pretty excited about beginning my 2 day solitary sojourn to Shillong (alliteration baby :)). I was up at 5, down (at the reception of my Guwahati Hotel) at 6, and on my way to the land of the Beautiful People (you wonder whether this is what Manson had in mind when he wrote the song)

Half an hour out of Guwahati, and I’m suddenly surrounded by hills and trees and clouds! Another 5 minutes, and we hit the most peculiar road I’ve ever seen in my life. I mean, it was a normal road, but apparently on one side of it, all the houses and shops and everything else – was Meghalaya…and on the other side was Assam! My driver Mahesh informed me of this, and went on to point out that the people on the right hand side were Khasi People (named after Khasi hills, which is one of the three main hills in Shillong, others being Gharo and Jaintia) while the other side were Assamese. It’s funny that he began his sentence with – ‘as you can see..’ – Well…Ummm….Noo...No offence but I really can’t see the difference! What I could see, was that for a 1.5km stretch – no one attempted to cross over!

Anyways, we moved along. It’s an extremely scenic 3 hour drive from Guwahati to Shillong. But every now and then, there is a string of trucks emitting toxic black smoke that swoosh past you and obstruct the fresh air intake that one so rarely finds in the cities these days ( btw, just checking, is it just me, or have some of you also felt that in the mountains the air is sometimes so fresh and cool that it actually hurts to breathe!). On enquiring I discovered that coal mining is a major industry in these hills, and the trucks always overload coal far beyond capacity. The engine of the trucks can’t take that weight and it coughs up all that smoke in an attempt to do so. While telling me this, Mahesh nonchalantly adds – ‘Sahab ye truck walle chalate bhi toh bahut tez hain – aap dekhiyega kitne accident dikhenge aapko raaste main’. And voila, we suddenly cross a truck that bumped in the mountain…its as if the driver didn’t see the turn at all! All along our way, I counted 5 accidents. But it wasn’t the accidents or the number that was scary…it was the fact that Mahesh so confidently, yet indifferently, predicted this would happen! It was also peculiar that most of these accidents happened on the ride back from Shillong. It guess I found it peculiar because till that time I didn’t know that liquor in Meghalaya is tax free!

Soon we had breakfast at Nongpoh…which has 3 dhabas and around 10 homes…and which is where everyone headed to Shillong has breakfast (it is also the place where you should not order aloo parantha…take my word). Post the breakfast, Mahesh handed me a paan, and I Shashank Mehta, who never had a Supari Paan in his life, took it like an obedient kid and stuffed it in his mouth! Two things happened – 1. I suddenly noticed that everyone around me – guys, girls, kids, elders – everyone was chewing a paan. I kept noticing this throughout the day. 2. I had this uncontrollable urge to spit…and then I did it…face out of the car window, wind in my face, hair swept back, lips curled like a tunnel – I SPAT! My first spit marks, on the road to Shillong, on my car window, on my shirt…ahh what bliss.

An hour hence, we hit Shillong and as decided, I headed off to finish the sight-seeing straight away…you know…the waterfalls, the parks, the lakes etc. I had made up my mind that I would finish all the ‘touristy’ stuff before I hit my Hotel. And so I did. I won’t bore you with the details

The Hotel – Hotel JK International, is situated in the busiest part of town – Police Bazaar = Bada Bazaar. I was already alarmed when I entered the corridor of the Hotel, because all along my right were doors after adjacent doors announcing sequentially increasing room numbers. It logically meant that the room would only be slightly broader than the door itself…but it doesn’t hit you until the door opens. Lo and Behold – a 10ft by 4 ft extended corridor, perpendicular to the original one, separated from it by means of a door and stuffed with a bed and a TV! I’ve always liked small cozy rooms, but JK International helped me define a very important line - the one between ‘cozy’ and ‘so freaking claustrophobic and small that when you yawn neighbors on both sides shout out coz they can hear the noise of your bones hitting the walls’. Later in the night I would find out that even the ceiling was as ‘hear-through’ as the walls – and that I would be blessed with an ‘upper neighbor’ who had this constant urge to drop some loud metal ornament on the floor every 15mins.

After a quick nap I’m out on the street - its 3 o clock and the streets are bustling with people…extremely well groomed people I may add. As far as dressing up is concerned, Shillong is every bit what you’ve heard it to be. Goth teenagers with tattooed forearms, weird yet ‘cool’ hairstyles, rock band t-shirts, metal accecories, worn out and torn jeans worn low, all the shades of black with a little pink thrown in – they got the works! Since I’m a delhiite, also worth mentioning is the fact that there are a LOT of girls. While they can’t be more than enough, there are by far more girls (atleast out on the roads) than there are guys. Ohh and check this out,Shillong is perhaps the only Matrilineal society in India – that basically means that WOMEN RULE HERE! After marriage, the guy shifts base and stays with his in-laws. In a will, all inheritance goes to the YOUNGEST DAUGHTER, not the oldest son. And while not literally, but for all practical purposes, the woman wears the pants in the house and can kick out her guy whenever she wishes for whatever reason!

Imagine, a headbanging matrilineal society – how cool is that. Your wife could throw you out if she catches you listening to Britney Spears! If you just want to check Britney out, take my advice and put the TV on mute…your wife may even join you and then go out and get herself the exact same dress! No seriously, what is it with North-Eastern/ Hill women and dressing up! Well actually, I think I understand the reason for this (as I’ll explain in the Darjeeling Travelogue coming up soon), but it amazes me no end anyways. They are just always decked up and HOW!

I’ve been on the road for 3 hours now, I’ve searched every nook and cranny, but I still can’t find a gig in this Rock Haven! My amazing luck…everywhere I go I’m old that there’ll be a gig next Saturday (but today we smelt you when you were half way here and cancelled arrangements…huh) But seriously, this was quite a turn-off..not to mention the fact that the city shuts down by 7.30. The streets are deserted by 9pm max. So I head to the poshest pub in town, at 6.30 in the evening, and commit another first – I have a drink all by myself!

It is almost 1am as I’m writing this…thinking back to Darjeeling and now Shillong…I’ve realized that while I will love to explore this unexplored part of our country, a critical factor will be missing – FOOD. A major part of exploring the culture of any place, for me, involves exploring their food. But I guess the North-East is the only part of our country where food comes after clothes, cosmetics and other comforts. This de-prioritization of food is reflected in lot of ways – in the lack of spices and garnishing, in the short hotel menus, in the ‘we’ll just be content eating anything made of Bamboo’ attitude, and most of all in the fact the garment stores are always larger than the restaurants.