Chapter 2 - I Forfeit The Right To Complain

INSTANCE 1

The scene…Its 2pm in the scorching Ajmer heat…I am the pillion rider on a Hero Honda Super Splendor (yes…the model name is important) and my salesman Raghu is driving the bike…for the past 10 minutes…at exactly 30 kmph
Me to myself: aaarrrgghhhhh….am gonna tear my hair apart…its 2 in the afternoon…there is not a sane living being, not even a freaking dog on the road…and we….arrrgghhh…why are we not moving!!!!
Me to Raghu: Bhai…yeh isse tez chalti nai ya tu chalata nai?
Raghu (Smiling…as he always is): Chalti hai na Bosshhh (he has a lisp)…tez chalti hai
And saying so he continues to drive at 30...occasionally hitting 35. What’s even more irritating is the gear shifting and the acceleration…I think it took us 2-3 minutes to get to 35…our top speed!

INSTANCE 2

Here in Ajmer, I don’t have any conveyance…so I requested one of the salesmen to pick and drop me since He lived that side only and I had already calculated that it would be just a 1.5 km detour for him. There was a moment’s hesitation, and he smiled and said – ‘Sure Boss….

INSTANCE 3

It was Raghu again…he had been wearing the same dirty t-shirt for the past 5 days…when I playfully commented…’abe Raghu…bhai shirt chipak gayi hai kya’. Raghu laughed a faint smile, and wore the same shirt next day…

INSTANCE 4

I made a rule today…every salesman needs to report at 9.30 am sharp…attendance to be marked in an attendance register. Most agreed…some immediately and some by persuasion…but Himanshu…he didn’t say anything and left. The others later told me that he tales computer classes in the morning before coming.

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I’m sure everyone has by now grasped the common thread running through these instances (or have you…). But some calculations first:

Avg salesman’s avg salary:- 5000 (the range is 4000-6000 basis incentives)…(and it’s an extremely demanding job. Atleast 10 hours a day, 7 of those out in the market in the scorching heat or freezing cold…as the case may be.)

Avg kilometres travelled, in a month, by the salesman on his motorbike (yes, all salesmen have to use their own bikes to work the market) – 30km(per day)*27(working days atleast) = 800km(approx)

Avg mileage a Hero Honda Splendor gives (yes..all salesmen use this bike..ALL): 55 km/litre (its way lesser than a normal Splendor, because the salesmen have to start n stop the bike at 30 shops a day which are all 0.5 km apart)

So, at Rs 45/litre, avg money spent per month on petrol = 800/55*45 = 650 – 700 bucks on petrol burnt to do the job (haven’t included personal usage)

Include another 100 bucks avg on maintenance (don’t smile…a salesman’s bike is his most prized asset…he knows it’s his bread n butter earner - and he treats it better than most of us would) and the effective salary goes down to 4200 bucks a month!! (Haven’t included official phone calls yet)

I could’ve done a back of the envelope calculation on their personal absolute essential expenses (and don’t forget the huge EMI for the bike – it costs 45000 bucks), but I think it’s pretty evident that making ends meet is almost impossible. Yes, they do have family support, but they also have family to support…so I’m not even going down that branch.

So what’s the point of all this…should we pity them!

Personally, that’s what I did initially. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me how the hell could they afford a bike in the first place. I still haven’t been able to fathom how they manage expense…it’s a thought that constantly occupies my mind…but the instances I quoted above, gave me some clues…they also made me realise that ‘pity’ was the ultimate disrespect I could dish out to these extremely respectable people. Here’s how:

From Instance 1: There is a green coloured area on the speedometer of these bikes (I’ve been riding bikes since 10th standard and I never noticed it) that is the ‘Economy driving zone’. It is from 30-50kmph and Raghu always…ALWAYS drives within it. As everyone, that’s the first thing I noticed…but what I missed is how he calmly said – ‘isse tez chalti hai na boshh’ and then kept driving at the same speed. I later realised how all of them had adopted subtle cost cutting measures and made it a part of their lives (every salesman has adjusted his diet so that he doesn’t have to eat while working in the market…he takes a heavy morning breakfast and a heavy dinner and skips lunch; everyone of them wears a 100 Rs helmet...ALL THE TIME…because paying the challan is not an option). It’s hard to understand…but believe me…it’s not even something they notice now…nor do they feel pity for themselves…it’s just normal…their bikes moves at 35 just as normally as ours wouldn’t go below 60.

From Instance 2: While cost cutting measures (btw, it’s just us who think of them as ‘cost cutting measures’) are a part of life…the calculations are done for the entire month…right down to the last penny! So any deviation…any spike…even a 1.5km detour…is beyond elasticity limits.

From Instance 3&4: Most of my salesmen are young unmarried guys. All of them LOVE to dress smart. From flashy jeans to shades to perfumes…they do it all! The others have their own passions…one loves perfumes…the other loves eating…and they all do it. So while Raghu will cut down on washing clothes and save mind boggling amounts of fuel (one day Raghu comes to me running – ‘boshh boshh, maine reserve main gadi 150 km chala li’ – that is almost 70 km/litre!!!) to save some money, Himanshu will work 2 jobs but wear the latest trends and the best shades and shoes to match!

From Instance 5: (don’t go back up…it’s not there) – Inder Singh, another salesman (he, btw, somehow manages to have a ‘pauva’ with him all the time) lost his mother last Tuesday. We worked half day that day, and headed for the funeral. While I was busy grieving for his loss, my colleague Alok collected some money from the team and offered it to Inder. I was shocked…not that he did so, but at my ignorance! I never realised how this funeral came with monetary implications. No, Inder didn’t accept the help, but I wonder how and to what extent this unforeseen expense must have disrupted life. I still feel extremely bad that I have to talk of a funeral proceeding in such terms…but that’s just the truth…and I am trying to make my peace with it.

Btw, Inder Singh has an Airtel tower in his backyard that fetches him 5000 a month.
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PS: Here is what inspired this post: I had just recently done the calculations I’ve indicated above, when I remembered that on getting my first salary, I had taken my folks out for dinner to the most expensive hotel in town. A meal for 3 had cost me 5500 bucks…more than a salesman’s monthly salary. I couldn’t make peace with this number…I just couldn’t…and then Raghu came along…smiling as usual…’Boshh Boshh..aap saala time hotel ka khaana kha kha ke paleshan ni ho jate…main kal ghal se khana banwa ke launga aapke liye’
– I was at peace.